The Loquacious Lipograms of Zwangzug is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Erin Splinter with a fair hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, ban on automobiles, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 37.485 billion Zwangzugians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zwischen. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Zwangzugian economy, worth a remarkable 9,080 trillion checks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 242,255 checks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down, the phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon, Zwangzugians are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks, and citizens are bleary-eyed after staying up all night with a good book (Zwangzug has found 4 easter eggs). Crime is totally unknown. Zwangzug's national animal is the zebra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Church of Caissa.

Zwangzug is ranked 8,906^th in the world and 1^st in Wrigley for Lowest Crime Rates, with 103.25 law-abiding acts per hour.