The Free Market Empire of Zerni is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Mishami with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, infamous sell-swords, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 35.52 billion Zernians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zerni City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zernian economy, worth an astonishing 15,393 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 433,366 Credits, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Selling advanced CPUs to anti-Zernian terrorists is no chip on the government's shoulders, riot police are stationed around paintings of violent protestors, the nation's water should not be ingested while operating heavy machinery, and anyone with an emergency on a holy day is advised to pray harder. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Zerni's national animal is the silver lynx, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is shinto.

Zerni is ranked 319,151^st in the world and 3^rd in Zernxi Sector for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -18.44 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.