by Max Barry

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Most Devout: 8,482ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,883rdLowest Crime Rates: 11,316th
The Afterlife of the Party of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Liberal Dictatorship
Libations as hypnotic as the night itself
Influence
Diplomat
Governor
Region
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Vampire Barmaid

Population7.108 billion

CapitalMusty Wine Cellar
LeaderA Bloody Pain in the Neck
FaithChurch of the Blood Rite

CurrencyBARMAID coin
AnimalVampire Bat

The Afterlife of the Party of Vampire Barmaid is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by A Bloody Pain in the Neck with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.108 billion Vampire Barmaids are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Musty Wine Cellar. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Vampire Barmaid economy, worth 998 trillion BARMAID coins a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,513 BARMAID coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 462,313 per year while the poor average 32,002, a ratio of 14.4 to 1.

The voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning, pet owners are granted clemency from being ritually sacrificed, the immigration office has an express line for people bringing cash in briefcases, and the government spares every expense for national defence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vampire Barmaid's national animal is the Vampire Bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of the Blood Rite.

Vampire Barmaid is ranked 293,471st in the world and 15th in BARMAIDS ltd for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -9.91 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.

Top
5%
Most Devout: 8,482ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,883rdLowest Crime Rates: 11,316thMost Patriotic: 11,775thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,336thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13,893rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14,127thMost Subsidized Industry: 14,412thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,767thLargest Governments: 14,795thMost Efficient Economies: 15,875thTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 17,300thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 19,472ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 19,677thMost Accessible: 20,130thMost Corrupt Governments: 20,942ndMost Advanced Public Education: 22,580thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 23,193rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 23,698thMost Beautiful Environments: 24,607thHighest Food Quality: 26,487thLargest Welfare Programs: 26,949thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 27,844thSmartest Citizens: 28,988thBest Weather: 29,551stMost Cultured: 30,164thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 30,229thHighest Average Incomes: 30,340thMost Scientifically Advanced: 31,177thMost Inclusive: 32,219thLargest Information Technology Sector: 32,323rd
Top
5%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionMost Accessible: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Patriotic: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Stationary: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Vampire Barmaid was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Efficient Economies and the Top 10% for Largest Information Technology Sector and Most Inclusive.
  • : Vampire Barmaid was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations and the Top 10% for Most Scientifically Advanced.
  • : Following new legislation in Vampire Barmaid, the government spares every expense for national defence.
  • : Following new legislation in Vampire Barmaid, the immigration office has an express line for people bringing cash in briefcases.
  • : Following new legislation in Vampire Barmaid, pet owners are granted clemency from being ritually sacrificed.
  • : Vampire Barmaid was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Father Knows Best State".
  • : Following new legislation in Vampire Barmaid, the voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning.
  • : Following new legislation in Vampire Barmaid, the most sacred right is the right to ignore the rights of slaves.
  • : Vampire Barmaid was reclassified from "Moralistic Democracy" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • : Vampire Barmaid was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.

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