The Colony of Valtes is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 588 million Valtesians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.3%.

The thriving Valtesian economy, worth 39.0 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. Average income is 66,333 Dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 220,782 per year while the poor average 14,850, a ratio of 14.9 to 1.

Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Valtes's national animal is the Double-Headed Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Valtes is ranked 258,578^th in the world and 2^nd in The Commonwealth League for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 95.88 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.