The Leopardish Kinric of Valoptia is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Asher Wiley with an iron fist, and notable for its soft-spoken computers, aversion to nipples, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.398 billion Valoptians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osearwynn. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Valoptian economy, worth a remarkable 6,784 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 721,884 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain, government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy, hymns sung by popular choirs top the billboard charts, and half of the nation's import/export industry is run from a location known only as 'Dead Man's Cove'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valoptia's national animal is the snow leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Adoptionism.

Valoptia is ranked 228,691^st in the world and 147^th in The Order of the Grey Wardens for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -3.54 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.