by Max Barry

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Most Scientifically Advanced: 11thHighest Disposable Incomes: 25thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 41st
The Directorate of
Capitalist Paradise Decent Hardworking Self-Starters
वज्रमात अस्ता रिजथम
Influence
Hermit
Governor
Region
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Below Average

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Valkalan

Population29.901 billion

CapitalRavingard
LeaderDirector Vikko

CurrencySyn
AnimalOrca

The Directorate of Valkalan is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Director Vikko with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 29.901 billion Valks are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ravingard. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valk economy, worth an astonishing 22,258 trillion Syns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 744,404 Syns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,498,875 per year while the poor average 94,233, a ratio of 37.1 to 1.

Muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions, convicted felons are forced into slavery for their crimes, the comic book series 'Director Vikko and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller, and small children are frequently chased by rehabilitated pitbulls. Crime is totally unknown. Valkalan's national animal is the Orca, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Valkalan is ranked 22,918th in the world and 1st in Zarathustra for Most Stationary, with 1,498.2990063658 days.

Top
1%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 11thHighest Disposable Incomes: 25thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 41stSmartest Citizens: 48thRudest Citizens: 55thMost Efficient Economies: 63rdFattest Citizens: 63rdLargest Retail Industry: 67thLargest Information Technology Sector: 77thHighest Average Incomes: 80thHighest Economic Output: 94thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 102ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 110thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 115thLargest Insurance Industry: 123rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 124thMost Valuable International Artwork: 125thMost Avoided: 127thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 133rdLargest Mining Sector: 149thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 160thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 170thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 283rdMost Secular: 287thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 306thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 431stLargest Agricultural Sector: 504thMost Corrupt Governments: 510thMost Armed: 610thLargest Publishing Industry: 613thMost Cultured: 760thLargest Gambling Industry: 802ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 824thLargest Governments: 1,183rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,542ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,547thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,737thMost Patriotic: 2,029thTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3,968thLargest Populations: 4,491stMost Advanced Public Education: 6,815thMost Influential: 6,928thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,107thLowest Crime Rates: 9,371stTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 14,899thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,050thHighest Poor Incomes: 18,684thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 20,706thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 22,560thMost Stationary: 22,918th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, small children are frequently chased by rehabilitated pitbulls.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, the comic book series 'Director Vikko and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, convicted felons are forced into slavery for their crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, cars speed down national highways while drivers sleep at the wheel.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, protests are legal but strictly supervised.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, banning party poppers has been a real party pooper.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, gun-wielding criminals always wear appropriate eye and ear protection.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, government officials are phoning up good-looking celebrities to say they want to breed with them.
  • : Following new legislation in Valkalan, Director Vikko can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine.

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