Population | 19.048 billion |
Capital | Aureliaska |
Leader | Empress Regnant Aureliana CXLIII Upska |
Faith | Aurelianaism |
Currency | Upskian Finger |
Animal | Escherichia coli |
The Laboratories of Upska is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Regnant Aureliana CXLIII Upska with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, rampant corporate plagiarism, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.048 billion Upskians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aureliaska. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.
The frighteningly efficient Upskian economy, worth a remarkable 8,277 trillion Upskian Fingers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 434,550 Upskian Fingers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.
Fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, Upska is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, and tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the Upska Blood Tithe. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Upska's national animal is the Escherichia coli, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Aurelianaism.
Upska is ranked 290,666th in the world and 17th in Banaanvraag for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1.45 pounds of wildlife per square mile.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Upska, tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the Upska Blood Tithe.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, Upska is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, students who do not recite the national anthem each morning have to drop and give their teacher 50.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule Upska but at least the trains run on time.
- : Following new legislation in Upska, political speeches that drill deep into bureaucratic fine detail could be said to be a little boring.