The Armed Republic of United Lands of Conquest is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Parliament with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The quiet, industrious population of 12.447 billion Conquestians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coldmoor. The average income tax rate is 86.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Conquestianite economy, worth a remarkable 1,406 trillion Coronas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 112,968 Coronas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Carpet bombing has decimated Brasilistan's landscape and population, the nation's air missiles have killed thousands of Brasilistan military personnel, religion makes people horny, and the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Lands of Conquest's national animal is the Swamp Goose, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

United Lands of Conquest is ranked 143,383^rd in the world and 9^th in The Great Experiment for Most Corrupt Governments, with 3.83 kickbacks per hour.