The Dictatorship of United Arstotzka is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Mini with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.716 billion United Arstotzkans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nirsko. The average income tax rate is 70.1%.

The thriving United Arstotzkan economy, worth 428 trillion Arztkas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 115,264 Arztkas, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, Mini's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader, international trade can be a pain to deal with, and getting an autograph has become harder than ever. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Arstotzka's national animal is the Doberman Pinscher, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Imperialism.

United Arstotzka is ranked 83,308^th in the world and 1,085^th in The Communist Bloc for Safest, scoring 89.5 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.