The Watchfires of TSC is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and zero percent divorce rate. The cynical, devout population of 28.892 billion TSCians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 61.8%.

The thriving TSCian economy, worth a remarkable 2,162 trillion $$s a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,834 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Religious education is a new government priority, adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, citizens are now allowed to discuss whether Leader is the greatest ruler ever or simply the greatest ruler of this generation, and government policy is dictated by a major religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TSC's national animal is the ^-^, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

TSC is ranked 14,788^th in the world and 1^st in Death Valley for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 3,743.7 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.