The Kingdom of Thetlia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by King John I with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 6.449 billion Thetlians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lanowen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 19.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Thetlian economy, worth a remarkable 1,065 trillion Federal Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 165,180 Federal Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

People can get away with murder these days, selling bombs to terrorists has become government policy, statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis, and a cat may look at a king and a dude can look at an ass. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Thetlia's national animal is the Tiúr Deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thetlia is ranked 279,690^th in the world and 230^th in Coalition of Crown Albatross for Safest, scoring 6.63 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.