The Kingdom of The Ice Bears is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by King Thermo with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, aversion to nipples, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 47.806 billion Ice Bearsians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed, including voting. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Law & Order, with Industry, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Oksfjord. The average income tax rate is 4.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ice Bearsian economy, worth a remarkable 4,800 trillion Polar Crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 100,425 Polar Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Retirees make up the bulk of foreign students, there is something rotten in the state of The Ice Bears, postcards from Ice Bearsian driving test centres are popular souvenirs, and citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Ice Bears's national animal is the Polar Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Arctic.

The Ice Bears is ranked 319,786^th in the world and 34^th in Arctic for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -24.29 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.