The United States of The Grumpy Grandpa is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Grandpa with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 13.375 billion Grumpy Grandpas are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grandpa's House. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 19.7%.

The very strong Grumpy economy, worth 993 trillion Grumps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 74,255 Grumps, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 226,146 per year while the poor average 18,923, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

Strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins, city sidewalks are crowded with overweight people, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, and a burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Grumpy Grandpa's national animal is the Century-Old Bulldog, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Capitalist Christianity.

The Grumpy Grandpa is ranked 114,838^th in the world and 41^st in Spiritus for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,661.3 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.