The Domaine of The Desperate Bisexual is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Certified Yapper with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 1.585 billion desperate bisexuals enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Érelle et Hyrule. The average income tax rate is 10.8%.

The strong a desperate bisexual economy, worth 82.7 trillion French dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 52,163 French dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Educators and parents alike are allowing children to view the internet again after violent videos were purged, Certified Yapper has just been declared ruler of The Desperate Bisexual in an international press conference, the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, and colleges adhere to rigid ethnic quotas for admissions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Desperate Bisexual's national animal is the Cheetah and its national religion is Agnosticism.

The Desperate Bisexual is ranked 60,230^th in the world and 12^th in The Northern Cheek for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 4,122.94 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.