The External Authority of The Black Cheek Command is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, disturbing lack of elderly people, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.222 billion Black Cheek Commandos are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Public Transport aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of MOB-Point Chique. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Black Cheek Commandian economy, worth 240 trillion dir-CCS a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 108,090 dir-CCS, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 344,893 per year while the poor average 25,752, a ratio of 13.4 to 1.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, the studies of art and philosophy are banned, cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy, and serial killers are the country's biggest import. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Black Cheek Command's national animal is the wiry cod, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

The Black Cheek Command is ranked 57,546^th in the world and 6^th in The Northern Cheek for Highest Average Incomes, with 108,090.77 Standard Monetary Units.