The Knights of Teutonic Order is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Der Hochmeister with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, parental licensing program, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 31.208 billion Teutonic Orderians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Königsberg. The average income tax rate is 43.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Teutonic Orderian economy, worth a remarkable 4,516 trillion Irons a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 144,733 Irons, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government single-handedly sustains the bunk bed market, voters are one of the nation's top imports, domestic cruise ships fly the Teutonic Orderian flag out of fear of being blown up, and the government spares every expense for national defence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Teutonic Order's national animal is the Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Teutonic Order is ranked 98,778^th in the world and 13^th in Germany for Most Developed, scoring 61.74 on the Human Development Index.