The Holy Black Christmas Easter of Teh War Machine is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Patrick with an iron fist, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, sprawling nuclear power plants, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.202 billion Teh War Machineans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Teh War Machinean economy, worth a remarkable 6,954 trillion Gold Bars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 755,739 Gold Bars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,782,490 per year while the poor average 10,707, a ratio of 633 to 1.

Starving citizens are offered nuclear pasta, the latest government policy passed by a close shave, Teh War Machine Barrier Island residents anxiously await their 'Bridge to Somewhere', and skateboarding is punishable by heavy fines. Crime is totally unknown. Teh War Machine's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Teh War Machine is ranked 4,878^th in the world and 224^th in Balder for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 10,202.34 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.