The Adorable Watering Can of Teafant is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 4.499 billion Teafantians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Education also on the agenda. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.9%.

The powerhouse Teafantian economy, worth 469 trillion guilders a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 104,274 guilders, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 408,748 per year while the poor average 18,099, a ratio of 22.6 to 1.

Tampons are used as cheap fishing bobbers, airplane passengers have been known to stuff pillows in their jackets to get extra arm room, six-year-old children playing dress-up are viewed with suspicion, and all facts are created equal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teafant's national animal is the bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Teafant is ranked 8,526^th in the world and 1^st in Bigtopia for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 6,847.47 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.