The Republic of Takney is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working population of 2.808 billion Takneyians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The very strong Takneyian economy, worth 186 trillion Takney Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Basket Weaving, and Retail. Average income is 66,395 Takney Dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 201,170 per year while the poor average 17,044, a ratio of 11.8 to 1.

School children across the country are staging hunger strikes to protest government-mandated salads. Crime is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Takney's national animal is the Buffalo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Takney is ranked 300,581^st in the world and 139^th in Commonwealth of Sovereign States for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -6.32 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.