The Confederacy of Swiss Guards is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by The Lord Commander with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 7.141 billion Swiss Guardsians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vatican City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.3%.

The powerhouse Swiss Guardsian economy, worth 673 trillion Vatican Euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 94,258 Vatican Euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 273,772 per year while the poor average 25,687, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

The Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby The Lord Commander Pics" has made The Lord Commander's mom a celebrity, model railroad hobbyists have taken to muscling model shipbuilders off their "turf", the roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril, and military training in Swiss Guards emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Swiss Guards's national animal is the Lion of Lucerne and its national religion is The One True Church.

Swiss Guards is ranked 63,985^th in the world and 1^st in The Vatican for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 3,164.11 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.