The Imperial Tsardom of Sparkvernia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Tsar Kasimir Sparkos with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 33.388 billion Sparkvernians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Czargorod. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Sparkvernian economy, worth an astonishing 10,070 trillion novorubles a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 301,630 novorubles, with the richest citizens earning 9.0 times as much as the poorest.

Administrative districts are increasingly defined by their taste in housing architecture, arts classes now teach children how to sketch the perfect sine curve, curtailed social programs have left many citizens bereft of any safety net, and molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Sparkvernia's national animal is the white hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Sparkvernian Tsarism.

Sparkvernia is ranked 237,477^th in the world and 100^th in Commonwealth of Sovereign States for Fattest Citizens, with 8.01 Obesity Rate.