The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 44 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its closed borders, parental licensing program, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 6.857 billion Second Best Puppet 44ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 44ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,222 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 178,238 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

You don't need a smoking gun to arrest someone for promoting guns, the government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means, citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing, and military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 44's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 44 is ranked 280,199^th in the world and 2,108^th in Two for Highest Food Quality, scoring 5.75 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.