The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 35 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, parental licensing program, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.875 billion Second Best Puppet 35ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 35ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,097 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 159,575 cards, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Exports of live cows arrive pre-roasted, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering', and a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 35's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 35 is ranked 11,027^th in the world and 456^th in Two for Most Corrupt Governments, with 146.63 kickbacks per hour.