The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 144 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and notable for its closed borders, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.61 billion Second Best Puppet 144ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 91.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 144ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,253 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 189,582 cards, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 598,257 per year while the poor average 45,902, a ratio of 13.0 to 1.

Tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport, male cubicle workers stand up every time a woman enters the room, teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool, and children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 144's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 144 is ranked 13,466^th in the world and 527^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 95.92 law-abiding acts per hour.