The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 113 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, infamous sell-swords, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.596 billion Second Best Puppet 113ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 92.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 113ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,048 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 159,030 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The teaching of evolution has been banned, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home, and bags of fertiliser come with detailed instructions for not making explosives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 113's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 113 is ranked 9,717^th in the world and 137^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 101.64 law-abiding acts per hour.