The Double Archprincipality of Schwessen-Hellfohen is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Friedrich-Wilhelm II with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, compulsory military service, and avant-garde cinema. The compassionate population of 5.82 billion Schwessen-Hellfohenians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nieufschtadt. The average income tax rate is 46.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Schwessan-Hellfohan economy, worth 438 trillion Hellfohan Marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,284 Hellfohan Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination, worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and foreign leaders are advising that Friedrich-Wilhelm II's letters must have gotten lost in the mail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schwessen-Hellfohen's national animal is the Black Hellfohan Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Schwessen-Hellfohen is ranked 69,678^th in the world and 1^st in Island of Weilssen for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 4,046.69 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.