The Absolute Units of Schitz is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a bellend with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, rampant corporate plagiarism, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 42.079 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schmendrik. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming full on idiot economy, worth a remarkable 9,582 trillion Bills a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 227,731 Bills, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

The practice of capital punishment proves divisive, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from a bellend's throne, and the nation's black ops are starting to get on people's nerves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schitz's national animal is the grundle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is mostly shouting at people.

Schitz is ranked 19^th in the world and 1^st in Gatesville Inc for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 53,380.65 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.