The United Socialist Turtles of Samariki is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its museums and concert halls, ban on automobiles, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate population of 3.629 billion Samarikians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Samarkai. The average income tax rate is 83.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Samarikian economy, worth 307 trillion Social Security Numbers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Cheese Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 84,831 Social Security Numbers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions, when their backs are against the walls Samarikians look out for gay men, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions, and "Mad Max: Returning Again to Barrydrome" is this year's unexpected summer blockbuster. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Samariki's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheistic Turtleism.

Samariki is ranked 163,560^th in the world and 178^th in The Communist Bloc for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 698.8 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.