The Receptionist republic of Red Ion is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Chancellor Albert Matthäus with an even hand, and notable for its ban on automobiles, parental licensing program, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed population of 15.128 billion Ionians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Karlsburg. The average income tax rate is 51.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Red Ionian economy, worth a remarkable 1,473 trillion Ionian Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 97,387 Ionian Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

In a baffling press conference Chancellor Albert Matthäus proudly dismantled a broken door, the diplomatic corps stinks, the Department of Health is snowed under by requests for crisper ciabatta and tenderer tagliatelle, and there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Red Ion's national animal is the Horse, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Red Ion is ranked 119,963^rd in the world and 1^st in The Waiting Room for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,767.94 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.