The The Lobby of Red Crewmate is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Charlie with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.72 billion Red Crewmateans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Skeld. The average income tax rate is 66.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Red Crewmatean economy, worth 367 trillion cashes a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 98,762 cashes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', kilts and cassocks are viewed with suspicion, there is one competing standard, and a tax exemption has created a new hunger for octogenarian millionaires dating women 60 years their younger. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Red Crewmate's national animal is the Pupper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Inner Sloth.

Red Crewmate is ranked 209,733^rd in the world and 26^th in New Deathland Storage for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 32,690.41 Standard Monetary Units.