The Free Land of Really Big Bama Fan is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Head Coach with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, unlimited-speed roads, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 8.313 billion Really Big Bama Fanians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tuscaloosa. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Really Big Bama Fanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,550 trillion Crimsons a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 186,573 Crimsons, with the richest citizens earning 6.6 times as much as the poorest.

Molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public, toilet paper is considered a non-essential item in the embargo against Brasilistan, a primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world, and children are often observed making 'sand angels' in bunkers. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Really Big Bama Fan's national animal is the Elephant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Saban.

Really Big Bama Fan is ranked 85,301^st in the world and 3^rd in SEC Fanatics for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 2,449.22 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.