The Most Serene Republic of Pyatingrad is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Fyodor Karamov with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, pith helmet sales, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.65 billion Pyatingradians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novosibirska. The average income tax rate is 54.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pyatingradian economy, worth a remarkable 1,571 trillion Ducats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 278,118 Ducats, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay, the meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment, and the government has certified several glow-in-the-dark athletes as drug free. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Pyatingrad's national animal is the lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Karamovism.

Pyatingrad is ranked 3,935^th in the world and 36^th in 10000 Islands for Most Corrupt Governments, with 257 kickbacks per hour.