The Colony of Port of Cypress Cove is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its daily referendums, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.397 billion Port of Cypress Coveans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 45.0%.

The powerhouse Port of Cypress Covean economy, worth 154 trillion pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 110,507 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, the nation sends criminals home to think about what they did, 50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool, and war vets look after war animals. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Port of Cypress Cove's national animal is the swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Port of Cypress Cove is ranked 21,303^rd in the world and 1^st in Cypress Cove for Nicest Citizens, with 22.05 average smiles per day.