The United Sovereignties of Pizzaifica is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Picola pizzaia with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.886 billion Doughboys are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Administration, with Education, Defense, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teigenburg. The average income tax rate is 52.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Pizzanian economy, worth 102 trillion Aesmarks a year, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Pizza Delivery, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,353 Aesmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All alcohol is banned, bags of fertiliser come with detailed instructions for not making explosives, cigarettes are dead-cheap, and convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing. Crime is totally unknown. Pizzaifica's national animal is the Ginger my dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Love.

Pizzaifica is ranked 18,855^th in the world and 58^th in Aesica for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 55.14 on the Kitten Softness Rating.