The Colony of Pinopalustris is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, zero percent divorce rate, and ritual sacrifices. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 25.836 billion Pinopalustrians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 42.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Pinopalustrine economy, worth a remarkable 1,971 trillion florins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 76,302 florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

When their backs are against the walls Pinopalustrians look out for gay men, former stunt pilots are unable to pass the licence test to fly a drone, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, and homeowners are evicted to make way for new runways. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pinopalustris's national animal is the longleaf pine, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Pinopalustris is ranked 244,344^th in the world and 6^th in Conifer for Safest, scoring 33.78 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.