The Eternal Assurance of Phaphonies is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Epifanio de los Santos with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, rampant corporate plagiarism, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.115 billion Sagen are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cajarc. The average income tax rate is 79.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sagan economy, worth 762 trillion Tabs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 124,632 Tabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère, all recreational drugs are legal, the new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction, and years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phaphonies's national animal is the Jaguarundi, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Absurdism.

Phaphonies is ranked 40,685^th in the world and 8^th in The Embassy for Highest Average Incomes, with 124,632.77 Standard Monetary Units.