The Democratic Union of Nueva Patriam is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Camilla Cai with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, otherworldly petting zoo, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.927 billion Patrians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Commercia. The average income tax rate is 72.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nueva Patriamian economy, worth 606 trillion Thorans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 154,361 Thorans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Government fact-checkers use surprising amounts of high explosive, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, sharks are enjoying their deliveries of canned food, and money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nueva Patriam's national animal is the Red-Tailed Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Nueva Patriam is ranked 11,141^st in the world and 1^st in The Potato Union for Most Cultured, scoring 109 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.