The Protectorate of Northern preen is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, free-roaming dinosaurs, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.691 billion Northern preenians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.2%.

The powerhouse Northern preenian economy, worth 467 trillion francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 69,923 francs, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Public shaming is the bedrock of Northern preenian society, citizens are more concerned about voting for Big Brother contestants than politicians, raindances intended to summon storms instead attract tourists, and human tissue is grown in vats as a delicacy as well as for transplants. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Northern preen's national animal is the eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Northern preen is ranked 288,593^rd in the world and 1,803^rd in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring -12.53 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.