The Pipes of North A is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Paul Pipe with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 26.669 billion Northians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pipe. The average income tax rate is 70.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Northian economy, worth a remarkable 3,607 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 135,282 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Police officers ride the swiftest eagles, 'Mountain Doobie' is widely regarded as the nation's favourite drink, the army insists there is nothing gay about men in uniforms rolling in the mud, and the Northian Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North A's national animal is the eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pipism.

North A is ranked 237,561^st in the world and 2^nd in Lichtingen for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -5.16 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.