by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
Noahs Second Country was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 320
Rudest Citizens: 28thMost Valuable International Artwork: 61stHighest Crime Rates: 79th
The Second Best of
Anarchy Lawless Wasteland
The Second Best Nation in the World!
Noah
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
World Benchmark
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Corrupted

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Noahs Second Country

Population9.124 billion

Capitalflaming dumpster fire
LeaderNoah
Faithabusing the anti-abuse system

Currencysecond best currency
Animalsecond best animal

The Second Best of Noahs Second Country is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.124 billion second best citizens live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education and Administration also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of flaming dumpster fire. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient second best economy, worth a remarkable 3,227 trillion second best currencies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 353,727 second best currencies, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,285,614 per year while the poor average 3,533, a ratio of 929 to 1.

The government's new 'Crime Can Fight Itself' policy appears to be backfiring rather badly, the ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army, and biological warfare is used to solve small disagreements. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Noahs Second Country's national animal is the second best animal, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is abusing the anti-abuse system.

Noahs Second Country is ranked 74,238th in the world and 3,331st in The North Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 2,757.91 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 28thMost Valuable International Artwork: 61stHighest Crime Rates: 79thMost Armed: 103rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 114thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 123rdGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 130thFattest Citizens: 145thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 149thLargest Retail Industry: 165thMost Avoided: 221stLargest Gambling Industry: 256thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 257thHighest Disposable Incomes: 378thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 416thMost Rebellious Youth: 451stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 484thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 767thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,199thHighest Average Incomes: 1,228thLargest Mining Sector: 1,323rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,331stLargest Insurance Industry: 1,395thMost Efficient Economies: 1,430thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,694thMost Politically Free: 1,743rdMost Pro-Market: 1,792ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,115thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,265thTop
5%
Most Influential: 2,441stHighest Drug Use: 2,861stLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,930thHighest Economic Output: 4,333rdNudest: 4,460thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,475thMost Cultured: 5,624thSmartest Citizens: 7,759thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,924thLargest Agricultural Sector: 9,394thMost Secular: 10,221stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,231stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,592ndTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 15,765thMost Extreme: 16,017thLargest Black Market: 17,501stMost Inclusive: 19,396thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 19,543rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 19,766th
Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionMost Armed: 5th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 8th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 9th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 11th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 15th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 17th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 22nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 42nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 56th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 66th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 67th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 76th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 82nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 83rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 108th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 126th in the regionMost Extreme: 127th in the regionNudest: 143rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 170th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 179th in the regionMost Cultured: 289th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 395th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 411th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 429th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 444th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 515th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 516th in the regionMost Secular: 516th in the regionLargest Populations: 690th in the regionLargest Black Market: 709th in the regionMost Stationary: 789th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 842nd in the regionMost Influential: 846th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 902nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, biological warfare is used to solve small disagreements.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, a typical fast food menu item could serve a small army.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, the ongoing space elevator construction project has elevated the national debt to all new levels.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, the government's new 'Crime Can Fight Itself' policy appears to be backfiring rather badly.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, Noah can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, the government response to disaster victims starving for bread is "let them eat stale cake".
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, the official Second Best Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, the government's fruit business reeks of rotting produce and corruption.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, Noah's opponents have adopted dogs to chase away the mailman.
  • : Following new legislation in Noahs Second Country, on graduation day the hats thrown in the air fly high enough to stun passing pigeons.

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