The Holy Empire of New Yogurtopia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Yoplates Fermentis XI with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, compulsory military service, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.515 billion Yogurtopians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lactopolis. The average income tax rate is 70.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong New Yogurtopian economy, worth 117 trillion Dairy Tokens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Cheese Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 77,482 Dairy Tokens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces, religious education is a new government priority, census workers are having a hard time figuring out who is actually living in New Yogurtopia after the ban on emigration was lifted, and New Yogurtopia is increasingly belligerent on the international stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Yogurtopia's national animal is the Sentient Yogurt Spoon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Curdism.

New Yogurtopia is ranked 296,735^th in the world and 16,228^th in Balder for Nicest Citizens, with 1.19 average smiles per day.