The Republic of Neustern is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by First Neusterner with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, hard-working population of 7.293 billion Neusterners have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Metropolis. The average income tax rate is 68.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Neusternisch economy, worth 642 trillion Sesterzes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Tourism, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 88,112 Sesterzes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Grocery stores can be audibly identified by the giggling emerging from them, the only record being broken at sporting events is the highest death toll, crossbow bolts fill the skies if so much as a sparrow flies overhead, and stale 'yo mamma' insults have been replaced by 'your maternal DNA' insults. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neustern's national animal is the Parrot, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Neustern is ranked 6,615^th in the world and 1^st in Kilisis for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,340.98 on the Clooney Contribution Index.