The MLS Reserve League of MLS Next Pro is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its prohibition of alcohol, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.92 billion MLS Next Proans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 75.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient MLS Next Proan economy, worth 400 trillion marks a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 137,274 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

It isn't a secret plot without caviar and foie gras, diplomats agree to the terms and conditions of peace treaties without reading them, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi, and oilmen are in the business of greasing people's palms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. MLS Next Pro's national animal is the kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

MLS Next Pro is ranked 51,510^th in the world and 6^th in Conservative Guild for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 89.36 on the Bus Surprisal Index.