The Republic of Middle Witeopia is a titanic, orderly nation, notable for its closed borders, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.652 billion Middle Witeopians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Middle Witeopia City. The average income tax rate is 86.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Middle Witeopian economy, worth a remarkable 5,043 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 232,913 baht, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Endangered species face obesity instead of extinction, gaping tourists take long-distance photos of diseased natives on "indigenous peoples" safari tours, the prisoners of Azkatraz have a new emperor, and bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Middle Witeopia's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Middle Witeopia is ranked 8,451^st in the world and 1^st in St Abbaddon for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 4,987.55 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.