The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.412 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 12,966 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 553,828 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms, Rupert Bear is considered to be the most risqué TV programme in Merconitonitopia, the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields, and officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Mandaeism.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 12^th in the world and 1^st in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 15,105.22 on the Clooney Contribution Index.