The Rodentine Seer of Malphe II is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Hazel-Malphe with a fair hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 19.254 billion Malphaes enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The enormous government is primarily concerned with Healthcare, although Education, Welfare, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Horsonopile. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Malphaen economy, worth a remarkable 1,360 trillion Nondescript Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Woodchip Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 70,659 Nondescript Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Male politicians lose their jobs for staring too long at their female counterparts, the number of deaths due to poor fungus identification is mushrooming, nude art is becoming wildly popular, and Desert Woodrat is one of the most popular forenames in Malphe II. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malphe II's national animal is the Desert Woodrat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cult of the Horned Rat.

Malphe II is ranked 282,456^th in the world and 10,488^th in Osiris for Fattest Citizens, with 6.06 Obesity Rate.