The ♛ Kingdom of Malmberget is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Santa with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The cynical population of 33.446 billion Malmbergetians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pole. The average income tax rate is 66.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Malmbergetian economy, worth a remarkable 3,437 trillion Gold Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 102,779 Gold Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Livestock mutilations are on the rise, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it, new "Worker's Strike" laws set out who is allowed to strike a worker, and the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malmberget's national animal is the Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Malmbergetism.

Malmberget is ranked 58,935^th in the world and 3^rd in Sweden for Nicest Citizens, with 16.66 average smiles per day.