The Pandothran Kingdom of Maelstra is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Alexander Von Hydragon VI with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avowedly heterosexual populace, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 8.436 billion Maelstrans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Spirituality, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense also on the agenda, while Environment and Industry receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stormhold. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.0%.

The very strong Maelstran economy, worth 519 trillion Bolts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. Average income is 61,579 Bolts, with the richest citizens earning 9.0 times as much as the poorest.

Smoking is banned in public areas, the government-run newspapers insist that everything is fine, Alexander Von Hydragon VI has just been declared ruler of Maelstra in an international press conference, and Catholicism has been named as Maelstra's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force. Maelstra's national animal is the Sea Serpent, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Maelstra is ranked 212,419^th in the world and 5^th in The Abyssal realms for Safest, scoring 54.53 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.