The Tired Minimum Wage Worker of Lost Pizza Guy is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Pizza Delivery Guy with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, public floggings, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.334 billion Pizza Guys are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Administration and Environment not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tony's Pizza. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Pizza Guy economy, worth 619 trillion pizzas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 116,058 pizzas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 911,302 per year while the poor average 3,695, a ratio of 246 to 1.

Sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls, belief that Pizza Delivery Guy is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high, fishing crews are regularly interrogated by surprisingly violent environmentalists, and jumping in puddles after rainstorms has become an indoor activity. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Lost Pizza Guy's national animal is the pizza, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Lost Pizza Guy is ranked 321,460^th in the world and 17,309^th in Osiris for Nicest Citizens, with 0.39 average smiles per day.