The Colony of Koorns is a titanic, orderly nation, renowned for its compulsory military service and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 17.732 billion Koornsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Welfare, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.3%.

The strong Koornsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,019 trillion Citas a year, is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 57,498 Citas, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koorns's national animal is the Vippertooth Dragon.

Koorns is ranked 3,185^th in the world and 1^st in Nova Jane Austinus for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 13,556.8 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.